As the parent of an LGBTQ+ child, Vy would do anything to make sure their son is happy and safe.

“I’ll fight for Sebastian until the day I die.” They shared. “But fighting for myself was harder.”

Vy always knew they were bisexual, even at a young age. But when their own son began his coming out journey, Vy began to reflect on their own gender identity as they helped their son explore his. A year after their son came out, Vy came out as non-binary.

But while supporting their son’s LGBTQ+ identity was easy, standing up for their identity was hard. For Vy, the constant questioning, having to explain themselves and their pronouns, wore them down. “It’s easier to just not fight it; it’s easier to go back into the closet.” They admitted.

For LGBTQ+ adults, it’s hard to find support groups to talk about their identities, especially if they come out in adulthood. In October 2022, The Frederick Center launched Worth the Wait for LGBTQ+ community members who came out after the age of 18. Since its founding, Worth the Wait has become our fastest-growing support group.

Vy joined Worth the Wait in 2022, seeking a place to share their experiences. They found a home instead. “Hearing other people share their stories at Worth the Wait helped me process my experiences.” They said. And in sharing their own experiences, Vy was met with resounding support from their peers. With support from members of the group, Vy was able to come out at work, set boundaries with unsupportive family members, and feel comfortable talking about their identity with others.

“I probably would have gone back in the closet if it weren’t for them,” Vy admitted. “They gave me the strength to fight for myself, not just my son.”

The Frederick Center exists so that LGBTQ+ people, no matter their age, can find the strength to be themselves. As volunteers, parents, donors, and everyone who supports The Center’s mission, thank you for all you do to help us be a place of welcome, love, and community to LGBTQIA+ children in and around Frederick.